Alone but Whole.

"Life is short. Have fun."

Yeah, I even go for fun when things are in stressed mode. But one thing I learned is that some people can't help but to be serious at things. Maybe everybody does get serious, it's just a matter of how to handle the situation.

I, myself, am experiencing also bad days. I'm trying not to be so emotional, but I'm not saying I've never broke down and cried in my past years. I'm trying to understand things so I won't get easily mad at some people, but no, I can never control my feelings not to get hurt especially by people I'm looking up to. 

Things happened and people changed. But deep inside of me, I know I just have to move on and try to focus on things that might give me solutions and inspirations to achieve my goals and to keep on going.

Being emotional, for me, is okay. As long as you can still go back to your own self, to your own mindfulness, everything will be alright. When I was in my teen years, I was very careful about how I will present myself to people, because I was hitting the top of my "good girl" image back then and people around me were expected so much and a lot from me. I don't even want to fail and make mistakes because in their eyes, I'm so and a very good girl. But things changed after I made a mistake. I feel alone and nobody understands and cares about me. I feel like I can never be good at things, but I was wrong.

At this point of my life, though I'm still striving to achieve my dreams, I realized that mistakes are made to make me whole. I thought that those failures I've been through will make me a less person. I can never bring back those years when I was the "good girl" and when everybody in my family were so proud of me. I thought that was my happiest day. I'm still have my heart, but this time, I'm just having a good time to enjoy who I really am. I'm no longer be the "good girl", but I'm better than I was yesterday. I'm still kindhearted but I have to protect my dreams and be happy fulfilling my goals alone. I feel whole even more than thinking that "Here, I am, alone, yeah, sad can't feel their supports and understanding" but again at least I'm whole.

#ItsOkayNotToBeOkay #BeingSeriousDoesntAlwaysBeingSad #ImAloneButThingsWillGetBetter